you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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