worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
