Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
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