eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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