I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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