I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She even gives head with a lisp.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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