so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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