so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Randomize
