I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Edward fifth and chaser hands
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
