I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
