i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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