Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
did you just send me my own nude
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
