i can't believe i had my finger in that
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
MIDGETS
????
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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