i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
