I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
how does that bad decision feel?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
