he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Boobs speak an international language.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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