this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
