I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
