god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
