walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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