need another drink. this is the easiest way
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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