VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
she peed on how many people?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
