Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
