i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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