Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize