Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
