I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
