he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
