She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
