They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
