I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
