that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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