Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
