We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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