if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I forget how to act sober
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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