chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
