If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
