i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
