now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
