i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He? As in you personified your dick?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
