Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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