She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
