I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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