It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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