he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
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That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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