Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I will be naked everywhere
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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