he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
