Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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