the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
