I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
