Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
