Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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