Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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