The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
