Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
