literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
